Humans are incredibly stupid sometimes.
And before you start arguing in the comments section, I don’t mean all humans. But let’s face it, every species has some good apples, some bad apples, and some hollow apples. Today we will address the hollow apples in the human species.
While I am aware that some people like to prank call 911, which is not at all recommended, there are some who genuinely think stupid situations like stubbing your toe warrant a 911 call.
#1 Kidnapped daughter.
Worked in the Coast Guard where one of my jobs was the same thing as a dispatcher with radios and phones and boats instead of cars to respond. One day some one called me to tell me their young daughter was just kidnapped.
I asked them if the kidnapper was on a boat or near the water, they said no. The caller just didn’t think it was a big enough issue to call 911 so they called the Coast Guard instead.
#2 List of many calls.
I’ve been a dispatcher for about 7 years now in a medium size county in Florida.
1.Every year on July 4th and New Years we get calls about gunshots. Every single time the caller is perfectly convinced they’re gunshots and couldn’t possibly be fireworks.
They’ll say they hear automatic weapons, or my personal favorite “rapid fire shotguns”. And every single time a deputy goes out to investigate, it turns out to be the unlikely culprit of fireworks.
2.I had one woman call 911 to tell me she found a cell phone on the ground. That’s it.
3.Irate elderly male calls 911 while standing in the Sheriff’s Office lobby to report the clerk not being helpful.
When I told him that’s not something you use a 911 line for, he went ape shit, going as far as threatening to break into the office and shoot me. He was subsequently arrested.
4.Male was arrested for domestic battery, called 911 from the backseat of the patrol car and stated he was being unlawfully imprisoned.
When I told him the only thing I could do for him was to send him more deputies, he said “…no thanks” and hung up. He then proceeded to call three more times looking for a different answer.
We told the deputies on scene, they took his phone away and added a charge of misuse of 911.
5.Had a woman call in stating she accidentally took too much melatonin. She started getting hysterical when she felt the effects of her overdose. She was getting sleepy.
#3 The high kidnapped guy.
I’ve had a number of very similar calls. Dispatching for a small city in Canada. A guy called in to report himself being kidnapped and held against his will in the back of a car.
Got his location and saw officers already on scene. We’d just arrested him, he was very high.
#4 Icy roads.
Yesterday morning was a cold one in my area. Icy conditions on the roads, widespread crashes, all the good stuff…
Lady calls in and complains about a suspicious substance on the road that made her car slip. She was driving too fast to see what it was but insisted that something strange was afoot.
#5 Bird stuck in a tree.
Too many to count. If I had to pick a favorite I’d have to choose the time a concerned citizen called in an animal stuck in a tree. That animal…was a bird.
#6 Watching it burn.
Caller calls for an ambulance, female patient, difficulty breathing. Ambulance arrives on scene and starts screaming for the fire department.
Turns out the lady was having difficulty breathing from all the smoke in the burning house. Caller never thought to mention it.
#7 Doing okay.
A lady ran over herself with her own car. She called to let us know she was okay.
This was fall of 2012. Hope she’s uh, still doing okay.
#8 Broken heart.
Once my dad got a call from the 911 dispatch. At first he was really confused because he didn’t call them in the first place. They asked
“Sir do you have a daughter?”
“Well she just called and claimed you broke her heart!”
Apparently my sister got in trouble when she was about 5 or 6 and called 911 claiming “My daddy broke my heart.” She hung up in embarrassment after the dispatcher began laughing.
#9 Safety helmet.
Middle of night shift, get a Report of a guy trying to ride on a moose. Officer attends, there is indeed a male trying to ride said moose.
Male is wearing a high vis vest and a helmet, which his girlfriend made him put on, for safety reasons, of course.
#10 Bruised ankle bone.
“I’m super drunk and i got run over by a sled” now is northern Alberta typically this would mean a snow mobile and potentially life threatening injuries.
No, no. His kid hit his ankle bone with a wooden toboggan. Didn’t even have a bruise.