Little kids can be very sweet.
Charming and honest, and full of life. They have a glow about them, and it makes them a pleasure to raise.
That’s what anyone without kids would say. Anyone with kids knows what an absolute nightmare they can be. It’s all screaming, and vomiting, and ruined diapers. It’s a cacophony of the crushed hopes and dreams of a parent. That’s why they hire babysitters. And recently, a story revolving a babysitter started to go viral. Consider this, you are a mom of a few kids, and they have driven you bonkers for as long as you can remember. So you hire a babysitter.
This babysitter is the girlfriend of one Malik Brazille, and because your kids are a handful, you decide to leave her some helpful notes, you know, as guidelines.
These are very honest guidelines
(scroll down if it’s difficult to read)
Perhaps even too honest
- I encourage the kids to watch as much TV as possible, so they will leave me the hell alone. Feel free to do the same.
- Don’t waste your valuable time cooking or providing healthy snacks. Just give them the pizza and snacks I leave.
- They do still breastfeed on demand. just download a video on youtube. It’s not hard, or I would not do it.
- Do not take any kittens|Candy|puppies from David. Or take a ride in his van.
- If any of my neighbors come to the door, treat them like Jehovah’s Witnesses. Don’t lend them any eggs/milk/cigarettes. They know where the store is. And -no-, you don’t want to babysit for them.
- Let the kids have as much sugar as they want, as long as they will go away. They take pills to sleep anyway.
- If you have any boys over, just make sure they have an Uncle/Dad/Brother/friend that I can call later.
- Don’t answer the house phone unless you feel like paying bills.
- If you look through my drawers, please throw away any overdue bills and gum wrappers.
- Do not believe ANYTHING the kids tell you.
Arguably, Malik and his girlfriend got a real kicker out of it.
So did everyone else!
We don’t even know whether the rules the mom gave the babysitter were legit or not, but they did make me laugh. Especially no. 3
She can’t really be expecting Malik’s girlfriend to breastfeed her “mad old kids,” can she?