Any Franchise Left To Its Own Devices Will Go Off The Rails

Reboots are everywhere. Nobody can deny it- from Disney to Universal Pictures, it seems like every studio is remaking all their old franchises. Whether they are for the next generation or just for making more money, one thing is clear- some of these reboots are awful. Yes, reboots can add a new perspective on a franchise or improve it a lot, others can feel like they are crapping all over what the original stood for. And that’s exactly what happened here.

These franchises all got wacky reboots that you just wouldn’t believe. Hold on tight to your original DVDs, they could very well be next…

#1. In Japan, Endless The Ring And The Grudge Sequels Culminated In A Ridiculous Crossover Movie

Whilst this may sound battier than Draculas cave, it is still strangely true. When Japan made two horror movies in the 90’s, both about creepy children and curses called Ringu and Ju-on, they went on to become successes in America under the names The Ring and The Grudge. However, whilst the American story stopped there, in their home country, more and more sequels to these movies were churned out until the series got so ridiculous that there was only one thing to do- have a crossover.

 

NBC universal entertainment japan

Yes, this movie tells the story of one group of teenagers who try to pit their ghost in some VHS tapes against the ghost of another teenager who lives in a haunted house. However, instead of the ghosts fighting, they actually end up working together and even merging at the end to kill everyone. That’s not even the worse part; not only do they speed up the curse so it kills you in two days instead of seven (maybe the ghosts got bored?) but the advertising for the film involved getting the actors in costume to play baseball against each other.

Nippon Professional Baseball

Anyone else want to strike out of this series? I certainly do.

#2. Garfield Became A Ripped Humanoid Superhero

Once, Garfield was a lazy orange cat that belonged to Jon, fought with a dog and loved lasagne. Now however, courtesy of a 1998 series of novels called Garfield’s Pet Force, this lazy cat suddenly got buff and now protects a parallel universe ruled over by Emperor Jon Arbuckle (his owner) from the terrifying Vetvix (also known as Liz, the vet Jon is obsessed with). In this world, Garfield becomes super-strong Garzooka, Odie turns into the super-strong Odious, Arlene becomes Starlena and gains singing powers, Nermal gets freezing and forcefield powers as Abnermal, and Pookie becomes a cyborg teddy bear called Compooky.

Troll

If that didn’t sound insane enough, this series had six full novels, including one where Garfield is sent to basically Cat Hell. And that wasn’t enough for the series; it later became a CGI movie in 2009 and an actual comic book in 2013. Why won’t you let this die, Jim Davies? Why?

#3. G.I. Joe Became An “Extreme” 90s Cartoon

The animated G.I. Joe series of the 80’s was beloved by those who watched it, mainly for it’s great action, cool characters who were badass and the awesome theme tune. So in the 90’s, the decision was made to reboot it. However, in the 90’s all kids shows had to be centred around one word- extreme (sometimes with multiple X’s just to state the point). So how do you make an already action-packing show more extreme? Well, apparently, you do this.

Hasbro

First of all, you make a bizarre live action opening, despite the fact the rest of the show is animated. Then, you cut out most of the characters and focus on only an extreme few which you then make more extreme by giving them names like Metalhead who has a combination rocket laucher machine gun. You also only have one female character, a pilot alarmingly nicknamed Mayday, who’s storyline revolves entirely around the fact that the guys don’t want to work with a girl when that wasn’t a problem for the 80’s series who had way more female characters. Oh and you take away the much-loved villain and replace him with a guy named ‘Iron Klaw.’  26 episodes of this extreme series were produced before the extreme age ended. That may end up being a few too many…

#4. The Flintstones Became A Hyper-Realistic Adult Drama

The Flintstones were always the wacky cartoon caveman family but when DC Comics wanted to reboot the show, they went in almost the complete opposite direction. Now Freddy and Barney have gone from the animated figures on cereal boxes to hyper-realistic men in a style that is just oddly uncomfortable. Much of the gender roles used in the 60’s cartoon are also discarded and instead of focusing on comedy, the show faces some really dark issues. For example, when in one story Wilma takes up painting using her handprints, instead of making some sort of art joke, it is used to explore the depths of art and the fear of existentialism.

DC Comics

Another issue that is at the forefront of the comics is marriage which is still new in Bedrock and thus we see many couples getting counselling for it. Fred and Wilma even get hit hard when they get into fights and realise there is sometimes no way to resolve an issue. However, just when you think this is all getting too heavy, there’s still several goofy jokes in there, like Carl Sagan using a dinosaur seesaw to launch a monkey into space whilst making a reference to David Bowie.

DCComics

Yes, it is just as painful as it sounds.

#5 Pac-Man Became An Elaborate Story About Genocide and Actual Hell

You would think out of all the characters to give a backstory to, Pac-man would be very low on the list. He’s just a circle that eats everything he sees, isn’t he? Well, according to a Disney XD show that ran from 2013-2015, Pac-man actually has a very dark gritty past worthy of a revenge movie. As the child of the original Mr and Mrs Pac-man, his kind did once rule until their race was wiped out and he became the only survivor. Yes, Pac-man is actually the last of his kind. And the way his species was wiped out is truly horrible- the President of the Pac-Government had them rounded up and fed into a machine that ripped their consciousness from their bodies, literally tearing their souls out.

Bandai Namco Entertainment

What makes this even worse is that their souls are said to be in storage somewhere. You would think that meant they were still alive but they are referred to as dead multiple times in the show and the place is even guarded by a three headed dog, making it very much like Hell. The four ghosts who Pac-man battles in the game also work for him now and were victims of the machine too. They are also implied by their voices and personalities to be children. Was anyone else thinking this was going to be cheerful? It’s Pac-man!

#6 Scooby-Doo Is Now A Post-Apocalyptic Action Series

DC Comics appears to be a serial offender in the reboot game as not only did they change the Flintstones, they also went after the gang of Mystery Incorporated and their canine companion. Scooby Doo and his friends are now in a post-apocalyptic future and Scooby himself has undergone a transformation as he now has a pair of glasses that project emojis. Yes, you did read that right, Scooby Doo is now a serial texter.

DC Comics

The gang have changed too in very odd ways. Shaggy is now an upfront asshole who borders on being downright aggressive and defensive, Fred and Daphne got ripped and look more like Marines and the annoying Scrappy Doo, Scooby’s nephew, is now a giant werewolf with sunglasses and no much else (seriously he looks so weird and naked).

DC Comics

Is there any point to this? Well, that is a mystery that will probably never get solved.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *