Hotel staff sees some real sh*t every day.
Because as it turns out, guests love to do weird sh*t when they are in a hotel. And I have no answer to why they do it. But today we are going to share some of the most hilarious and weird stories that the Hotel employees have experienced.
From fancy $1500/night to crappy motels, we have it all. Some of these might be a tiny bit sad, while many of these will creep you out. So continue with caution. Now, I know you are not here to read my rambling so scroll on below and take a look.
#1 The last note.
So I worked valet at this fancy hotel in Virginia and one Friday evening this really nice old couple pulls up and gets us to unload their bags and park the car, all the stuff you do at a fancy hotel.
Later that night, they have a nice dinner and drinks out on the town and return to the hotel. The next morning, someone sees a note on their door that says, ‘Do not enter, call the police’.
It turns out that one of the old people was diagnosed with a terminal, incurable disease and they decided to take cyanide and both go out together after a nice evening, instead of letting the disease win.
The weekend after this happened, the room was reopened and no one even knew that it happened.
#2 The messy bride.
While we had a wedding on in the function suite the manager got called through to the restaurant to deal with a woman who was shouting and refusing to leave.
She was wearing a dressing gown and wasn’t making a whole lot of sense. The manager finally calmed her down and managed to escort her to reception.
While she was sat in reception and the manager was trying to ascertain whether she was a guest or not she started making strange moaning sounds.
The manager asked her if she was okay and she replied very matter of factly ‘Oh yes, I’m just having an orga*m‘.
She proceeded to piss herself and was escorted away by police. Fun day.
#3 Luxury hotel rave.
We had a swingers group stay at the hotel for a few nights. They had a rave going on up on the second floor, there were naked people everywhere on the floors, kids were freaked out by it, other guests were complaining.
On top of that, families could hear the couples running from rooms and constantly f**king. One guy had found out his wife was pregnant with another guys child so he decided to throw the tv out the window.
It was complete chaos and this is a f**king luxury hotel.
#4 The toilet bubbles.
I had a weird guest who was part of a land survey crew that would come in every week. One time she called the front desk and said, ‘There are bubbles in my toilet. Why are there bubbles in my toilet?’
I told her they might have flushed the water pipes (BSing). She then says, ‘Hold on, I’m going to bring some down.’ I said, ‘Ma’am, that’s really not necessary,’ but she was already off the line.
About 5 minutes later she comes down the elevator with a wineglass full of clear water. ‘Well, it was bubbly a minute ago!’ I had to walk in the back and beat my head against the wall for a bit.
We also found a crack pipe made from a hotel pen, and what look like rocks in cigarette cellophane in our presidential suite.
Cops came, tested it, it wasn’t crack, but the manager was still threatening on drug testing everyone (had to be an employee that did it).
#5 The alive salad.
As the owner of a bed and breakfast place for the last 8 years the craziest thing I ever found was an old battered notebook with ‘Why I love salad’ written on the front and then literally 40-80 pages on why salad was amazing.
There’d be the occasional suggestion that the author believed salad to be alive in some sense. Looked like it had been written on and off over the course of several years.
#6 The pie lover.
We had a guest we ended up calling ‘Pie Guy’ – he would come into the hotel without a reservation, pay in cash + the $100 cash deposit and the next day we would find his bathroom and bathtub full of the remains of several expensive pies.
He never came to the desk for his deposit, as he knew he wouldn’t be getting it back. We added his name to our ‘do not rent’ list but he kept coming back and using different names.
One time we found a torn up list in his room with the words ‘pie’ and ‘pants’ scribbled over and over again.
#7 The fight.
This one lady came into the lobby around 11pm, asked for the workout room so I opened it back up for her figuring she was one of those 24hr workout people.
I went back in around 3am to close it up again, and she has set up a bed for herself on the treadmill. Ended up giving her our last room after she had a fight with her husband and was refusing to sleep with him.
#8 The chocolate fountain.
My boss has told me the story of a couple on their honeymoon. So we basically set out to try and get things our guests ask for and these newlyweds wanted a chocolate fountain.
Sure, my boss thought, wouldn’t be to much of a hassle right? No, they had to search like he** to find one. Well after the couples stay they check out and don’t really say much.
When the maid is going to clean the room she basically goes in and starts laughing, my boss comes into the room to and there is chocolate f**king everywhere, you could see her a**cheeks in the bed and on the table and even in the roof.
You could make out where they started and where they stopped.
#9 Full of people.
Got into a lift from the top floor to head down. Lift stopped at 4th floor, door opened, saw people outside standing still, making no attempt to come in despite me being alone inside and there was room for them.
The automatic lift door then closed and before it was completely shut, I heard someone outside said ‘Why is the lift so full of people?’. Like I said, I was the only one in there, FML.
#10 Single Bullet.
Worked in a motel when I was 17-18. I was at the front desk not working when the housekeeping guy called me to check something out in a room that was being cleaned.
I go up there and the housekeeping guy is standing in the middle pointing up to the ceiling. There was a set of bare footprints on the ceiling which is at least 10 ft high. Bare.
Not shoes or slippers and only in the middle and nowhere else. There’s no way he jumped that high upside down and no prints on the walls either. Also he left a single bullet on the bed.