I’ve dealt with depression most my life. Most my symptoms are manageable as long as I’m being mindful of my attitude, thoughts, and behavior.
I don’t ignore people and I let them know when I need alone time or if I’m not feeling well. When life gets boring or mundane I remind myself that this is not my last stop and I continue dreaming.
These are some of the ways that I manage depression.
#32 Slow brain.
Answering slowly. It makes my brain run slower and I can’t think of the answers to the questions as quickly.
Especially when someone is asking what I want to do – I don’t really want anything. I isolate myself so I don’t have to be forced into a situation where I have to respond because it’s exhausting.
Over thinking everything and over planning. The need to make everything perfect and everyone happy even if it’s taking all my energy. As if validation from someone else will make it all better.
Sometimes I start out on high power then just crash and don’t even enjoy what Ive spent weeks/months planning. And none will see me for months after, as I retreat into my safe bubble.
I push away/cut off everyone that I care about because I can’t bear to be hurt by them! Everyone just thinks I’m mean and anti-social.
Keeping the house dark is a comfort thing for me. People always point it out, like “No wonder you’re so depressed. You need to let some light in.”
Darkness in my living space makes me feel comfortable, almost like I’m not alone, on my bad days. Good days, I’m all about the sunshine!
I always say I’m going to do something with the guys and when it comes time to do it. I back away.
Also sleeping for hours not because I’m lazy but because dealing with all the thoughts in my head from anxiety along with depression is exhausting.
Feels like kind of when your in winter and the cold air is blowing and you find it hard to breath. It’s like that daily for me.
I’m currently feeling some pretty deep depression because of what I’m going through. Between the stress and depression all I can do is sleep because I’m so worn out.
In some pretty dark places right now and pushing everyone away. I hope it will end when I face the monster that is trying to kill me at the end of the month. I’ve lost everything in the last 2 years because of this person and their agency.
I can relate to just about everyone of these and have lost friends over it. I had one friend tell me that my friends don’t like hanging out with me because I’m negative. Well a chance to loose your life is pretty negative. Just saying.
#38 Covering up.
I thought I was really bad at hiding my anxiety until one day a friend came to tell me that she wished she lived her life like how I did mine , cause I am always happy and take everything with a pinch of salt.
Now I know that I’m an ace at covering up.
I smile all the time even though I don’t really want to but I do it because I don’t feel like I’m allowed to be sad when I’m with other people.
Also, I do whatever it takes to make someone else happy, because since I don’t feel happy most of the time, it just makes me feel a little better seeing someone else happy.
I also isolate myself even though sometimes I really just want someone around.
#40 Late night walks.
Going for late night walks by myself. My depression keeps me awake at night and my thoughts can get so overwhelming I feel physically crowded inside. Late night walks help me quiet the screaming in my head.