Malaika Aman
Humor Can Be Quite Subjective.
What some people find hilarious, some might find it boring and weird. It’s just a matter of taste. However, if you do have a weird sense of humor, you are at the right place. Now, I consider myself to have a very weird sense of humor, but I still could not understand many of these.
So beware as some of the following jokes might change your whole life perspective.
#1 The Five Stages Of Butter.
guys i've cracked the code pic.twitter.com/P0TqxUV4eM
— daisyowl (@daisyowl) August 20, 2017
#2 Uh Oh Spaghetti-O’s.
HER: Im breaking up with u
ME: Is it because I say "Uh Oh Spaghetti O's" when things go wrong?
HER: Ya
ME:(under breath) Uh Oh Spaghetti O's— Bad Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) February 10, 2016
#3 Still Not Sure If That Is A He Or A She? Or Maybe Even They? Who Am I To Judge?
When that new house on the block got a fat ass basement pic.twitter.com/nF4vhq9r8n
— 7 (@FaceAhhAquarius) August 17, 2017
#4 Showbiz Baby!
every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby
— dalton day (@lilghosthands) September 10, 2017
#5 At Least It’s A Carrot!
i am sorry u are now married to the carrot i do not make the rules https://t.co/7KegiEOQSj
— darth:™ (@darth) August 17, 2017
#6 Apparently A Spiked Leaf?
What’s better than getting your girl some flowers….. pic.twitter.com/FD3EVkNcNl
— Brotha Nature (@2TacShakur) September 3, 2017
#7 Ah, I See What You Did There.
10 minutes Into conspiracy theories and chill, we start getting illuminaughty
— mean irene (@ireenee_b) July 25, 2017
#8 That Is Honestly The Best Description Of A Snake.
[in ambulance]
"Can you describe the snake that bit you?"
Yes it was like an angry rope
— Bea_ker (@bea_ker) November 29, 2014
#9 I Am Pretty Sure You Passed With Flying Colors.
i failed at sneaking out pic.twitter.com/ydBgSadAam
— Kat (@katlopez05) May 2, 2016
#10 Seems Like The Best Idea.
Me: *tries to knock 1st kite out of tree using 2nd kite*
*gets 2nd kite stuck in tree*
Genie: please don't w-
Me: I wish for a third kite
— Chad Kroeber (@ChadKroeber) August 17, 2015
#11 Who Needs That Many Appointments Though?
Me: I need a doctor's appointment
Receptionist: Ok [checks bookings] how about 10 tomorrow?
Me: No I don't need that many
— Marf (@MarfSalvador) September 1, 2017
#12 Neither Am I.
not sure what I'm supposed to do with this information pic.twitter.com/zsdRtWfa4t
— Finessa Hudgens (@coolado_) September 10, 2017
#13 Sounds Pretty Delicious.
wife: I am having an affair
me: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have the affair as well
— yabkat (@ohen39) July 20, 2017
#14 Doesn’t It Mean ‘In Excess Of’? Then Again, What Do I Know?
[Funeral]
Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?"
Widow: "Please do"
Me *clears throat: "Plethora!"
Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."
— ??Frank Whitehouse ?? (@WheelTod) September 3, 2017
#15 Loving The Elegant Rhymes.
he protec
he attac
but most importantly
he the snac that smile bac pic.twitter.com/6wMJbTXAp7— raquel (@polllarize) August 27, 2017
#16 That Is ‘Just Stuff’ Alright.
[me giving a tour of pillow factory]
guy: "what do you fill the pillows with?"
me: [spotting a family of ducks in tour group] "just stuff"— k e i t h ?? (@KeetPotato) July 2, 2017
#17 *Slow Clap*
Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat adding sage. pic.twitter.com/5JCO10MWt0
— Daniel Kibblesmith ⛄️⚔️? (@kibblesmith) September 6, 2017
#18 Clothes Need Some Sleep Too. We Put Them Through The Wringer Every Day.
*Tucks shirt in*
"Goodnight, shirt."— Michael Erhart (@MichaelJErhart) August 7, 2014
#19 I Wonder How That Happened?
Me, absolutely twisted, coming home with a load of swords.
Me waking up the next day with a room full of swords. pic.twitter.com/4fNWkAmhBY
— Señor Poison (@meandmydog69) September 13, 2016
#20 That Is 100% Right.
What Names are Short For:
Tom – Thomas
Tim – Thimas
Jon – Jonmas
Phil – Philmas
Dan – Danthaniel
Rick – Ricktoria
Bob – Bobmas OR Bobbert— Ariel Dumas (@ArielDumas) August 5, 2017
#22 Or You Broke Them.
I fixed giraffes. pic.twitter.com/QtavtoFRAt
— joey alison sayers (@joeyalison) August 22, 2017